When you wake up with a start and notice that there is light coming through your window rather than darkness, you know that you’re late. The question is how late? Your heart’s nearly beating out of your chest as you run up and down the halls like a sadistic version of Wee Willy Winkle yelling…”Get Up!  Get UP!  WE’RE LATE!!!”

Children flinching and flinging themselves out of bed like rockets. Stumbling from their covers only to crash into one another in a tangle of limbs as they vie for the bathroom. Ending up a human pretzel squirming on the floor. There’s nothing like having your brothers toe in your ear or a finger up the nose first thing in the morning.

Your love? He’s still in bed, gasping like a fish from the karate chop blow he inadvertently took to the stomach as you flung yourself into furious motion this morning. He’s all manly and tough so he can surf with a bruised liver, no biggie right? Shower…Makeup… Brush? Ha! You’re lucky if you remember to brush your teeth and your shoes match. If anyone at work notices that you’re wearing a flowered shirt with plaid shorts you can always tell them that you’re trying out ideas before Halloween.

Breakfast? Hopefully you have some cereal in the house since it travels so well in a bowl, minus the milk of course. But if your pantry is bare there’s a good chance something has been left in the car. A pack of crackers or a snack pack wedged under a seat? Possibly an extra bag or two in the bottom of their book bags, crushed but edible nonetheless. I know for a fact goldfish live in my van.

Maybe you make the bus, maybe you don’t but at school they eventually end up. You’re left walking into work with your face feeling like a puffer fish and looking like Bozo’s long-lost sister…literally. Just make sure that your fly’s zipped. Thank goodness you work for a company with two coffee pots and bags upon bags of Starbucks Dark Roast stocked in the cabinet. They won’t notice one of those bags depleted by lunch…hopefully.

Are y’all ready for your day?

Yep…same here.

Tickled Red

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