Warning: Ramblings of a sleep deprived woman below! Read if you dare.

My darlin’ surfer is on the road again. Off to compete in another surf contest and coach some teenage hooligans as well.

See, hooligans and ruffians the lot of them. Nah! They are all good boys (well most of them) and are like part of the family. We love’ em like they were our younger siblings. You have my permission to feel sorry for them πŸ™‚

There’s coach now ready to hit the road, conquer some waves and take some names. He’s uber competitive in case you were wondering, cordial, but competitive.

Too-da-loo! See you later. Have fun ripping it up and representing the East Coast.

So there you have the On The Road part. Let’s talk Sleep Deprived. He leaves and I loose sleep.This has sadly become a regular routine for me.

It didn’t use to be so bad. Before he was gone only on occasion for contests that he himself competed in. Once he started coaching he has been gone double the amount of time. Don’t get me wrong I am not complaining I am very proud of him. It took me years, along with other people helping me, to convince him that this was what he was meant to do. I just need to find a way to sleep while he is gone.

Why can’t I sleep you ask? Because I am a paranoid freak who walks the house with a butcher knife in one hand a stainless steel Louisville Slugger in the other (ex-softball player). I have had an issue since my first sibling came home, lets call it Protector Complex. The responsibility, safety and well being of my monkey loves falls directly onto my shoulders when my surfer is gone and I take that very seriously.

So I go into sentry mode all night, along with our dog King Zach of the Dreadlocks. * You will learn more about him later* This makes for a walking talking zombie the following day. My brain has ceased to function. I don’t know my left from my right or who anyone is after three nights of this. The poor monkeys have to deal with a woman who looks and sounds like the creature from the black lagoon.

Monkey One- “Good Morning mom. Mom? Are you okay?”

Creature Red Mom- “UnnGhh”

Monkey Two- “Are you sure that’s mom, she doesn’t look right? She’s leaking from her mouth. Ewwww ”

Monkeys- “Can we have some breakfast we’re hungry?”

Creature Red Mom- “Unnghh, gurble…un-huh”

Monkeys- “Ummm…thanks.”

Monkey Two- “Mom? What is this? This doesn’t taste right.”

Monkey One- “Did you buy new cereal?”

Creature Red Mom- “…drool…Hunh?”

There is a spark, fizz, and snap as a lonely little synapses fires and starts to function in the creatures debilitated brain.

Creature Red Mom- “Oh…dog food…sorry loves. Here you go.”

The monkeys sit at the table mouths agape and eyes wide with shock.

Monkey Two- “But…but…I ate that!”

Monkey One- “Gag, sputter,spit! Yuck…seriously!”

We see the creature shuffle slowly down the corridor dragging a bat along as it seeks refuge in the safety of it’s dark and sound proof cave.

* This has been a brief insight into the delusions of a sleep deprived woman. The above story did not take place, no children were harmed, abused or consumed dog food. It is a work of fiction*

Welcome to my Saturday morning. I hope that you enjoyed the trip into my three day sleep deprived psychosis. I won’t lie, it TICKLED me some to peek in there. A pot of coffee is nearly consumed and as my friend Tammy would say ” I am wired for sound”. Time to head out and enjoy some soccer games. My darlin’ will not be home for another night so you may see the return of normal postings tomorrow…or you may not.Β  Who knows, I might actually be drooling out of the side of my head for real very soon.

Wish the monkeys luck…they are the ones living with me right now πŸ™‚

Tickled Red